MELruzers

  Riddle:  What does man love more than life, hate more than death or mortal strife; that which contented men desire; the poor have, the rich require; the miser spends, the spendthrift saves, and all men carry to their graves? Answer:   Nothing

  A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.” “You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said. The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said. “I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach."

  LUKE:  What do you get when you cross Captain America and The Incredible Hulk? DAD:  What? LUKE:  Star-Spangled Banner.

  The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three?” “Four,” answered the boy. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?” “Jack.”

  See ya.

 Q) How many times could you subtract 10 from 100? Ans) Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

  KORBEN:  What did the Swiss cheese say to the cheddar cheese before its date? KATE:  What? KORBEN:  “Looking sharp!”