Very Comprehensive Guide to shaking Hands Goodly

    Handshakes: a simple gesture of greeting that,  somehow, tells a person how good you are at life. A single handshake has the power to make--or break-- a relationship. So listen up, MEL's. This is real important stuff. The importance of a perfect handshake cannot be overstated enough.

Types of Handshakes

    There are many different styles of handshakes that you can go for. Some people recommend the real firm handshakes, but do not go all movie star and try to break the other person's hand. Even if you could, breaking somebody's hand is not the way to start a long-term relationship. But don't go in the other direction, either. Don't go all flibby-flobby and pretend you don't have any muscles in your hand. The handshake should be the same for both parties involved. And definitely don't bring the other hand into it. That's just not cool, dyude.

    You want to shake the person's hand very few times. Maybe up, then down, then up again, then down, then up, and then you're done. Shaking too many times makes you seem subservient, at the very least. And not shaking at all and just grasping their hand is kinda weird. "Why'd you just hold my hand bro?"

    You could also try to be very "cool" and go for something other than the typical handshake, such as a fist bump. This is an acceptable strategy, just watch where you aim that fist. Too many relationships--and noses-- have been broken because of a fist bump that went awry. You could also go for a high-five, a less threatening way to greet someone than thrusting your fist towards them.

    There are also more obscure ways of greeting, such as secret handshakes, body-slamming, and even just saying hi. You can use these as well, if you wish. Call me a handshake purist, but there is little that can top the mutual connection that arises from performing this action. Still, do whatever you want, MELnewzers won't stop you.

What to do with the rest of your body

    When you perform a crisp, cool handshake, it's important not to let the rest of your body spazz out. You should maintain eye contact, stand up straight, and smile at the owner of the hand you're shaking. If the other person sees something wrong in your body, they'll think something's wrong with you. You probably don't want them to think that, now do you?

Non-consensual Handshaking is Not Okay

    Not nice, dude. Some people don't like handshakes, so make sure you look them in the eye before and mentally say "Boy, I'm gonna shake your hand. You in?" And if they start giving you a strange look, it's probably better to not handshake. You can also introduce a handshake with a verbal cue, such as "how are you doing?"

Benefits of good handshaking

    A good handshake will project confidence out. It shows that you know what's up. You're cool as a computer. Handshakes build trust, and if people trust you, that's a good thing.

Don't Handshake during Quarantine Season

    Just don't. Try bowing!